Inevitably, you’re going to get the question. When it happens, it’s best to have responses at the ready that don’t compromise your honesty, but don’t require you to disclose more than you’d like. The following are some witty responses I use that generally don’t invite further questioning. I’ve divided them into categories, so you can have an honest response regardless of the situation you find yourself in.

Either deadpan or hyperbolically energetic delivery is best; this will generally either get a laugh out of the person asking, or make them a little uncomfortable. The former will make everyone feel better, the latter will hopefully keep them from asking again. Enjoy!

It happens from time to time. I’m depressed, or anxious, or exhausted. Maybe I had a fight, or I’m stressed about work, or I’m feeling inadequate because blogs don’t pay bills. Maybe I don’t even know what’s bothering me, until some well-meaning schmuck with a shit-eating grin schleps in and greets me in standard form:

“Hi! How are you?”

I grind my teeth. I am about to lie.

CW: Depression, sexuality, repression, rejection, rejection sensitive dysphoria

“If you take a child who’s great at math,” my therapist began, “and put him in a room with a stranger who tells him he can’t, you will watch that child close up and lose access to his talent.”

“But if that same child is simply allowed to be, you will watch him flourish.”

Of course. My consciousness freed from the voice of the commentator, I could now apply it simply to executing whatever task was at hand. Performing was no longer applied to my identity. I did not need to “do” in order to “be,” but in simply “being,” I was finally able to “do.”